Gap year

today upcame the topic of gap years

i want a gap year because i dont feel self motivated enough to go straight to uni
so i deffinately feel a gap year is the right thing for me
but what should i do?

if i stayed in leeds and got a job, im scared i might not want to go back to university because ill like the money too much,
i dont have enough money to go travel, but i want to
and i also want to spend quality time working on my game so i can join a good uni team

grrrr decisions decisions

nightmares

nightmares are bad dreams
dreams you do not think 'it would be nice to be true'

nightmares can range from big scary monsters
to inconveniant truths you posses, leeking to the world
truths that would change everything if they get out

apparently nightmares meen something,
they relate to problems we currently face in life

so does this mean if we do not have nightmares,
we have no problems
no secrets

and if you suffer from frequent nightmares does this mean your life is a shithole
or that u just cant face your hidden truths and secrets

either one of these options is enough to keep me up all night

Hayley's section

On the 7th of september i moved to Notre Dame college for 6th form
It took a while to get used to it but as the homework started to pile up so did the new friends.
One of my newest friends is Halyey Leanne Dunne, but she's from bradford so for the first week i thought she was called Ayley.

The first thing you think when you see this girl is how stunning she is.

After our first decent chat i realised she was alot deeper than just looks,
just like me she has a passion for music, and good music too (leeds fest buddies!)
Then the coolest thing i have ever found in a girl was her love for video games, most girls just see a playstation as a geek box but hayley doesnt, at first i didnt beleive her but it turned out to be true, she is a nerd at heart :)

we talk all the time, but we never have the same conversation twice
I could talk to her for ever.

After a fewer deep convo's i think we've connected on a deeper level, and im now pretty certain that we will stay the best of friends.

She always makes me laugh and has this energy that cheers me up when i see her round college.
and it is due to this that i love her v.much :)

xxx

Dreams

Some see dreams as an unacheivable fantasy,
something that wouldnt happen but 'would be nice'

I see a dream as my sole purpose in life,
and i should risk all costs in order to acheive
all to feel that feeling of success
that reward greater than any other, no-one can take it from you

I am petrified i wont succeed
'if you beleive and try hard enough then you cant fail'
but what if i do
did i not try or beleive in myself, do i have another chance?

It is more to do with a phobia of failure than the hunger to succeed that drives me
and makes this dream alot closer to reality